


Starbuck Green With Envy

by DamnItWrongName



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Michael Sheen - Freeform, Other, RPF, Slugts - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 20:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19384192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamnItWrongName/pseuds/DamnItWrongName
Summary: coffee shop au. You're faced with a descision that could change your life forever





	Starbuck Green With Envy

It was a day like another, except it wasn’t. you’re 10 minutes late to work again. the clocks went forward yesterday and you forgot to change your internal body clock. the streets are filled with commuters and other people who get up early in the morning but the local starbucks is empty, eerily so. you see and man wiping the serving desk in a white t-shirt. you approach him

“hewwo i would like a venti skinny soy pinkity drinkity with 3 shots of double espresso with extra skinny foam and a little bit of drizzle from the secret menu and fries please”

“Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch” the voice says

“what the fuck?”

“sorry” man says, “the microphone is broken”

“????????” you say, clearly not seeing a microphone

“you want a venti skinny soy pinkity drinkity with 3 shots of double espresso with extra skinny foam and a little bit of drizzle from the secret menu and fries?”

“yes pwease” you look a the mans name badge “michael sheen”

“would you like fries with that?” the michael sheen asks. his orbs drawing you in. you say nod, swallowing hard, and coughing. that piece of strawberry hubba bubba is gone forever. he smiles and begins making your coffee.

decision sheen was smooth, he navigated the Mastrena High Performance Espresso Machine (a fully automatic bean-to-cup coffee maker) with ease. you can’t help watch him in awe. he knew just what to say to draw you in, make you want him. “ill put a extra bit of drizzle on there for you” he looked at me, then looked away. he was playing a game, a game that people have played for centuries.

“can you stop playing candy crush and make my beverage please michael sheen”

 

10 minutes later he’s still making your coffee. you wouldn’t mind, but you’re now 37 minutes and 23 seconds late to work, 24, 25.

“i would like to speak to the manager” you say with the confidence of a mother of 3 screaming, snotty children in the minivan parked in the mother and child assigned bay. you push your imaginary bangs from your eyes “now please”

michael sheen looks you dead in the orbs “i am the manager”.

you are slightly taken back by this ultimate power move, but you know michael is lying.

“you’re lying michael sheen”

“congratulations you’ve passed the test.” you beat coffee shop employee michael sheen! you got 30 Starbucks points for winning

 

“Fer cryin' out loud! what all that racket?” a man with a farmer voice calls from the back. the owner of the voice emerges. time slows, all noise is drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat going turbo at the sight of this god. your orbs meet, the man smiles at you. his lips sliding up his teeth to reveal that they never end.

“im brother Francis, wha can i do ye for?” his thick, bushy, unkept eyebrows wiggle in a seductive manor. do those bad boys need a hair net? Brother francis had the kinda face only a mother could love. if that mother was blind in one eye and had that sort of milky film in the other. you can’t explain why this man was making you (and a few others ((Rachel))) hot under the collar

“my fries aren’t done” you burst out with, what is happening to you? no one has ever made you feel this way? Bwuvver Fwancis moves toward the fryers, his solid, ripped physic making itself known to you despite being hidden by a shapeless oatmeal 3000 thread Egyptian cotton sheet.

“how d’yeh wan’ ‘em cooked?” he asked

you look him straight in the orbs “Raw”

you both smile the same smile.


End file.
